Music, Love and Nachos

dummied down to a teaser>

https://www.imdb.com/name/nm0698798/

= who I used to be

and where I wish I'd been able to go before just giving up all hope.

https://www.labroots.com/trending/neuroscience/6908/vr-help-memory-loss

(^ USeTubePastShElfLife

(^ long ago but still out tHere..
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCNanfXJ2FPLihfzXatE2q6A?view_as=subscriber

I used to believe I mattered. 
now I'm just adjusting  archives (^> br1NET3em

(^ when big blu beat its programmer..

(^ BEnt1Ntine: an AUGspritzer

You're friends on Facebook bentintine Line Cook at Beth's Cafe and Line Cook at Duck Island Ale House Went to None JUN 20TH, 12:12PM You are now connected on Messenger.

   bLINK JUN 20TH, 4:16PM oops wrong window
 I’ll see if I can make it Alex and I have some shit to do tonight but we can probably pull through ?

oh! yes know. wasment for someone else but it's jst freebee at an underground comix place.

 JUN 23RD, 8:13PM
 Guess what we’re watchin
JUN 24TH, 7:45PM yer eyelids? gay pride youtubes?
 Monster road
 And yes your answers as well ah. get deep enough in to see me yet?
 Not yet Ian and I had to pause
 He said it was too dry and it was late
 Hopefully when Camilla falls asleep and I escape my self loathing
 we’ll resume it it gets wetter anywho pretty old but has elements worth seeing
 I really like it so far I’m excited to watch the rest

JUN 29TH, 1:41PM watch any more?

 Yup Finished it Lil star struck not gonna lie
 The visuals were amazing
 And I was losing my mind over how great the claymation was

https://www.thestranger.com/events/27081739/who-killed-otters-babies
  saw this last night. guess who is in it? Who Killed Otter's Babies?

June 28–July 8 - Carkeek Park - Seattle thestranger.com JUN 29TH, 4:31PM Who?

JUL 1ST, 3:42PM eva is a skunk in it http://www.dachatheatre.com/otterton.htmlWho Killed Otter's Babies?
Welcome to Otterton, the town where we hold hands all the way down the stream!
You have been selected by Mayor Moose to join his Independ
ent Review Taskforce and interview all the animal inhabitants... dachatheatre.com

JUL 17TH, 3:49PM
 (^ just sayin. the thickness of the shell. matters.
 am now in search of folk over their 28th birthday.
 I'm coming to the conclusion anyone younger is either too thin skinned
 or have so many layers of safety nets protecting them as to be impenetrable.
(^> TE3m Play -3:00 Unmute INSIDER Presents This ostrich egg is equal to 16 chicken eggs. 🥚

INSIDER Presents I love you Brian This is another breakdown today
 I’m tired of being a disappointment knot you my friend(ish)
 ( I sent this out to quite a few folk actually)
 I’m ready for la hell you actually TRY once in a while.
 and that counts for something.

(^  I'm simply reassessing how what and why/where I fit into other ppl's livlihoods

 I don’t just wanna try I wanna succeed sigh. tHERE. listen if/ when you got a chance, mk? ( I can't because the library has no headphones, but this song was a shout out to me from dan bern yesterday. really old song re invented. was originally "geneva romance" about gorbachv and ron reagan summit : ready to store a link? Ready https://www.facebook.com/brian.prosser.33/posts/10211609405781843 Play -4:34 Unmute A little Helsinki Romance... Radio Free Bernsteinn there ye go. he's on tour. will be here in october ok. l*r No shit? close friend from october, 1989 yep. see a full concert he did back in 1997 . most songs hand picked to fuck with me , knowing i'd be there. tractor tavern is walking distance from my home(s) annnd yesterday, he begged someone to find a link to the recording of it just so he could let me know he was thinking of me: note. this is lllOOONNNG. and has little to do with 2018 boom . have some oldschool "L.A" and how pissed off it makes workaholics who never know how to insist on taking a brakecheck break https://youtu.be/DiTHCAxQD0k Dan Bern (live concert) - November 20th, 1997, Tractor Tavern, Seattle, WA (JEMS Archive) Dan Bern (live concert) - November 20th, 1997, Tractor Tavern, Seattle, WA Please support this artist. Buy their records and merchandise. If band members are... youtube.com I need that I want the worst of humanity and selfishly I’ve only surrounded myself with positive friendships ok. thEAR. kNOW I', m off to greenlake to watch a poet try to intice folk into letting her write stuff for them. for free ttfn pushing towards 4:20. I'm off to drum my way past it. :shrugs: you have my celphone. 'tsup 2 U to use it. same to ian. I got thINKgs to work over. (and out.) I do Ian gave it to me but I was waiting for a special text to surprise you ha. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fQetTYCrcAY KIN x DUST $10,000 Sci-Fi Short Film Competition To celebrate the release of KIN in theaters August 31st, DUST is proud to partner with Lionsgate, KIN, and its directors Jonathan & Josh Baker to host a shor... youtube.com a little late now on that one, but hey. stuff shows up all the time. it's all in the timing ok NOW I leave the library. other side of greenlake. up a tree, people watching: sketching, gluing pages together etc. trying not to get skin cancer Radio Free Bernsteinn Aficionados 154 members AUG 13TH, 3:14PM onwards. time shifts. It’ll come back around soon enough Time is a flat circle hope your birthday is better than just getting wasted Thank you I hope so too btw.. https://www.facebook.com/justin.kohn1 worked on monkeybone Justin Kohn you don't actually have a vhs player do you? I do It’s one of those vhs dvd combos Had to fish it out of storage time SIRALS and never lands in the same space for more than a momentuum sp..spuh spEYErrawlszzzz I’m ok with where it landed at this moment sorry life takes so long to come to fruition Life can kiss my manhood I choose what happens I’m too stubborn to let that shit take control i'm simply regathering cost, customs and costumes for th' cuss tomb burrs and I've given you and Ian enough time . my van's alterator is on the fritz so you won't be seeing much more of me anyway. got work too far away to keep hitting beth's WED 2:24PM I’ll bring the journal in for you dude I’m sorry I kept it so long ha. it's yer burpday. the journal is was for you and ian. monkeybone on the other hand, harder to let loose. it's what taught me to NEVER trust ppl with too much money and backing unless they already love and care for me For sure I’ll bring them in to the cafe Been meaning to but late morning have been killing me I’m moving at the end of the month with nowhere to go I might buy a motorcycle and drive to the coast my van's weak alternator has killed AND simplifried stuff. been doing some loose timelapse and stop motion experiments instead while cleaning/clearing up some yardwork you're young enough. doo eeeeeet I plan on it uhhhmmmn actually.. van couver BC has more available work in tv and film industry than most other places at this point' a travel van that you can live in while travelling might be better than a cycle. things have changed sincethe 60s Im bringing it back like comming back for yer.. uh... smartphone instead of just getting another one i'll be 60 soon enough. IF I don't pull a late bloomer 27 club move I didn’t have the money for it And that’s my plan I got 5 years left go to bickford's art gallery show before you leave tho? anywho I'm off to a life drawing free show at pushpull. shift yer get together mmmK? Will do Gotta get my affairs in order too and others. happens all over. just a desition on who what why and wherefor. ok I'm off one last old shot from me and that dead guy. for yer burpdaze: https://youtu.be/Zd6AZRpN6Sg thEAR!? Brian Prosser and Chris Rodgers Animation Tyme. youtube.com different cut from the see?! piece WED 6:33PM https://www.facebook.com/michael.kacena/posts/10216316802702953 We have a room for rent in North Seattle. Available on the 1st. Come by and see it this week. $500+ bills. No pets. Must be laid back, and love pigs. Michael Kacena FRI 11:05PM Ok worry about you The tail end attempts to go out from underneath you as you change lanes This damn lines are a motorcyclists worst nightmare but you are experienced and keep control You barely notice it to be honest You only think of the road The blue sky The green hills that seem to be overflowing in tall evergreens Which ones are fir? Dad would know You regret your curiosity Better to leave him behind He’s probably losing his mind by now Or not It’s only been a day You feel guilty But rationalize our decision to flee You weren’t healthy there It wasn’t beneficial for you It gagged you Smothered you Travel is your home The road your house Your thoughts your company Ok so don’t worry about dad What about your roommate Tom? Rent was only a month away. You have valuables and you said he could sell your records and television set. But would it be enough? Could he find a roommate within the month? Of course he could, he said something about a coworker needing a home and your valuables could more than double the rent even if that idiot went to the seediest of pawn shops. Ok so don’t worry about Tom What of your manager Elise? She’s already in the middle of buying the diner you cook at. Well cooked at. Can she find someone capable of replacing you at such short notice? Yes. They can put any idiot on Larry’s shift The lunch crowd dosent matter Ok so don’t worry about Elise Damn you could use a smoke With one hand steering you along you reach into your saddle bag Not bad for a relative amateur 3 packs left in the first carton. Should last for a few days You spy one of your plastic baggies Maybe some blow to help you stay awake It’s almost dark and your eyes are heavy. You see a gas station sign The place is straight out of an old photograph from the 40’s Metal sign(with bullet holes) and a rickety old fire hazard of a building The beige paint peels off in bunches and merely sprinkles an accent of color upon the rotting wood You unzip your leather jacket a bit to cool your warm skin You reach into the right saddle bag and produce one of your baggies You pocket it and enter the service station A gruff yet frail voice greets you Want me to fill her up mister? You look up and see a thick man with white hair and suspenders You try not to laugh at his ridiculous handlebar mustache as you slide him a 20 You ask where the restroom is and he points to a door in the back The smell of pine-sol assaults your nose but other than the pungent odor The restroom is cozy It harkens to a simpler time Where pastel tile and porcelain was fashionable You produce the baggie and pour the powder onto the lid of the tank It’s rocky shit but good You made sure to avoid the gasoline shit that you knew would destroy your throat Your cut up two lines and snort them GOOD SHIT You piss and leave the nostalgic restroom The short stubby man is behind the counter It’s hard to believe he filled up your tank already but you wouldn’t doubt an experienced service station veterans speed He has a 5 dollar bill and 3 quarters laid upon the counter top You buy a beer and insist the old geezer keep the change As you exit and prepare to get back on the road An old crown Victoria with green sheriff stripes and a large gold star rolls up and parks right behind your Honda Shit The pig gets out Another laughable mustache This one is brown and walrus like He is young but even a youthful cop in these parts seems to be a relic from a time long gone He looks at my beer and coyly states Illegal to drink and drive I look at the Heineken bottle I was just gonna enjoy the view He lets out a laugh, similar to one a parent would give when they caught their teenager stealing shots from their Costco half gal I don’t think you’re the type to drive after one of those I laugh I’d love to enjoy this brew but I’d loathe to make such a poor impression to such a stand up individual such as yourself. Could I perhaps get a ride into town? He looks me up and down Smiles I think that could be arranged, bill get me one more Heineken We sat on the gravel enjoying the view of green trees and rolling hills He told me the history of the location I still wasn’t sure whether I was in Oregon or California He laughed We rode into town and with a pat on the back and a reference he sent me into a welcoming diner that seemed out of place in our modern world. I walk in waving the sheriff or deputy goodbye You walk in and admire the red polyester adorning the bar stools Write later Main character Stops at gas station Does coke Buys a beer Has conversation with weird clerk Sheriff is there Asks him where he’s from Takes him into town to the motel Too expensive Goes to the town diner Asks for work They agree He sleeps at the diner Meets dale the prep cook Discuss running away Dale offers to let him live with him Agrees to live in town Does so for a few weeks but knows his goal is Los Angeles Leaves Almost gets run off Fight reading dink. wow. beth wifi works fer a sec Opinion please I suck at those. normally, i recropy/paste and add heckle wyrds in the midst: like footnotes.. marked ""(> like this. " while straight quotes from your text marked ">", and yOUR text, (a mixed me rewriteusing partials) would be marked "(^> " . making sense of how I cribnote? ok back to reading. so far I'm around the skidmarks of a cyclist trying to leave dad behind ❤️❤️ >.. The road your house Your thoughts your company".. (^ que this, but only the non vocals. just the background sounds. harmonica.. moshed up with willie nelson on the road again https://youtu.be/6smtAY8dXSI Canned Heat - On the Road Again live at Woodstock 1969 Canned Heat On the Road Again live at Woodstock 1969 youtube.com (^cropping all vocals out of the mix. just aumbiance for road trippin moodset ((onwards. yep this I kindo..freebe. 'tson me.)) You set your nickname to SpongeDadaist. You set the nickname for Ben Joyal Cutler Hogan to BentINtine. You changed the chat colors. ❤️❤️ tsk just marking time spent (^ know wait, BTT... is this about yer pistolwhipped gunrun that tanked for lack of a gps tag? (9^ hot glue gun. it's..funnier) or burr"..he.. he took his screwgun with him.. he NEVER takes his screwgun!.. time to really worry that he ain't cummin back ((^ soory.. confidentual crazytalk. no worries. I know lotsuh shift nobody is aware of)) (^ woopsies. back to your sCRYPT..)) >Damn you could use a smoke< (^ so could I.. You changed the chat colors. on pause You changed the chat colors. (^k...bACHE 2wrk > You see a gas station sign The place is straight out of an old photograph from the 40’s Metal sign(with bullet holes) and a rickety old fire hazard of a building < (^..hmn. lemme look..brb) https://www.google.com/search?q=a+gas+station+sign+The+place+is+straight+out+of+an+old+photograph+from+the+40%E2%80%99s&rlz=1C1CHBD_enUS809US809&oq=a+gas+station+sign+The+place+is+straight+out+of+an+old+photograph+from+the+40%E2%80%99s&aqs=chrome..69i57j69i64l2&sourceid=chrome&ie=UTF-8 a gas station sign The place is straight out of an old photograph from the 40’s - Google Search google.com (^fun.just cuz... https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhpq6eklZAniQMkZqQ5WApFOZHiG8NF4iexPnj4zj77BjQnCjN_bWCmD4tIEA4Q_-H1Dvjit-6yAakaJs-ntgum1lbInLfTQN4fGWsurmAnAp3-97i-BZv56IzPVI98dLq1o59LRXkIDRCt/s1600/gasoline+sign+price.jpg ((^sorry Btt.. just bemuses me. knowkay back 2U ((^uhhhn..rewrite cummin up: (( because sometimes you gottah cut back on extras with lines. ((play em yerself so you don't have to pay for a one liner (^>TE3m https://beardoholic.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/08/27321334_l-e1496597579911.jpg only sortuh kidding You changed the chat colors. commerce break: https://www.facebook.com/encyclopaediaofhell/photos/a.166159836770828/1901211859932275/?type=3&notif_id=1534573104994353&notif_t=notify_me_page It's true. Dead Trees Emblazoned with Blasphemy may be purchased here: http://tinyurl.com/cjveqnk Encyclopaedia of Hell (^ knOK. scratch earlier edit. THIS is the guy you ( or whoever plays the snorter part) should play: . >He is young but even a youthful cop in these parts seems to be a relic from a time long gone He looks at my beer and coyly states "Illegal to drink and drive" ((^why? because it's a side effect of the rock snort^)) yes know I'm actually reading this.. kinyuh tell? ...omwardszzzz You changed the chat colors. https://www.wayfair.com/furniture/pdp/wade-logan-marlon-adjustable-height-swivel-bar-stool-wadl4230.html?piid=16397135 (^ for > "he sent me into a welcoming diner that seemed out of place in our modern world. I walk in waving the sheriff or deputy goodbye You walk in and admire the red polyester adorning the bar stools " Marlon Adjustable Height Swivel Bar Stool With its faux-leather seat and sleek metal frame, this curved statement-making Marlon Adjustable Height Swivel Bar Stool instantly elevates your favorite seating group. Its solid color upholstery blends effortlessly into any color palette while its pedestal base adds a traditional touch to your aest... wayfair.com ok. dung4now.. time? 1:05am. freebe but.. GIVE ME MY MONKEYBONE!! annd. as a wrap: thEAR. https://youtu.be/FQtAp0-viJw ZZ Top with John Fogerty play Creedence best Hits! Sign in the Channel! All about good music! ZZ Top with John Fogerty play Creedence best Hits! youtube.com You changed the chat colors. g'moUrnINKg.night .that was fun l8R> SD aka T3Em and or TE3m dependant on inwardIntr0 or outwardXit spection Brian just played FISHERS for 59 points! View enough of a hint? ok I'm dung. will now sandbag till you tie it up SAT 1:58PM You changed the chat colors. SAT 6:36PM You changed the chat colors. (^ phhhhHA! updating that bent fork in the road: sodermicheal . twising it forwards https://www.facebook.com/dorenfeld/videos/10210458398211026/ Play -0:37 Unmute PooF Tawd B. Dorenfeld also. the tobacco you left behind and settled for tailor mades... https://youtu.be/T00eJSQimIk Creedence Clearwater Revival: The Midnight Special Creedence Clearwater Revival The Midnight Special Willy and the Poor Boys Lyrics: Well you wake up in the mornin you hear the work bell ring And they march y... youtube.com the pouches. yep. funier stist off the 3 packs left: 3 midnight specials https://www.google.com/search?q=midnight+special+tobacco+pouch&rlz=1C1CHBD_enUS809US809&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwjIs4fhg_jcAhXOCTQIHSG5BUQQ_AUICygC&biw=1113&bih=551#imgrc=kaKt9oRvUpzrpM: midnight special tobacco pouch - Google Search google.com tsk I mean if yer gonna go all 1960s road trippy... go oldschool on the smokes. that or lucky stikes http://www.oksales.com/html/Tobacco.htm Oksales, Inc. oksales.com SAT 8:15PM Brian is waiting for your move! View You changed the chat colors. sighs. time I start walking back to ballard. You changed the chat colors. You set your nickname to (^> brEYEnd1Tzzz. You set your nickname to (^ bRYEyeYie. You changed the chat colors. SUN 5:31PM What’s the brand you told me about last night SUN 9:06PM Words With Friends Brian is waiting for your move! Play midnight special is both a brand of tobacco, a song by creedence clearwater, annnddd.. this for historic reference.. You changed the chat colors. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Midnight_Special_(TV_series) The Midnight Special (TV series) - Wikipedia The Midnight Special is an American late-night musical variety series originally broadcast on NBC during the 1970s and early 1980s, created and produced by Burt Sugarman. It premiered as a special on August 19, 1972, then began its run as a regular series on February 2, 1973; its last episode was on... en.wikipedia.org nuff swAYED. ONWARDS https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Midnight_Special_(song) Midnight Special (song) - Wikipedia "Midnight Special" is a traditional folk song thought to have originated among prisoners in the American South.[1] The song refers to the passenger train Midnight Special and its "ever-loving light" (sometimes "ever-living light"): en.wikipedia.org https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Midnight_Special_(train) The Midnight Special (train) - Wikipedia The Midnight Special was the name of a passenger train formerly operated by the Chicago and Alton Railroad and its successor, the Gulf, Mobile and Ohio Railroad. The train ran on an overnight schedule, and in later years carried the last regularly scheduled Pullman sleeping car between Chicago, Illi... en.wikipedia.org GIPHY on my way down towards beths. just a warnINKg Your videos are there I’m home classic tnx. been a strange month ok,2 decades then Brian Prosser added a new photo. Brian Prosser You set your nickname to (^ bRYEyenditz. You changed the chat colors. SUN 11:15PM Thank you for being the the Virgil to my Dante Or better yet the George Gurdjieff to my bill Murray 6:29AM ok so you had me read something. read what i weote last night? AUG 13TH, 4:23PM tsk anywho. lots of storytelling materials, much unshared with you, including some leeds on work up in canada and storage possables from kristaa (remember gher?) while roxanne will have better space for me to store etc once the threatener is off property, around the 20th of this month. :shrugs: at least I don't need find ferret cat care in order to go urbane camping. phhtHA! https://www.carparts.com/results/?N=0&Nr=AND%28universal%3A0%29&PN=0+6850&VN=4294955240+4294966967+4294958508+4294962879&universal=0 SAT 1:55PM sigh https://www.facebook.com/ATTNVideo/videos/549847588767963/ ATTN: Video This historian says he has found the solution to poverty ATTN: Video MON 6:46PM got it. nobody told me. mary is in monroe. sigh. I met her before I met any of you. too bad you don't seem to remember that. .sigh. abandonment is abandonment no matter how you rationalise it. I guess I should have called her back after that call she sent .or after you called me with your dream. I'm ok for now. sorry i interupted your visit with your mom MON 10:30PM Kitty was on the boat with a Scott Doerflinger maybe he was in the band and a few others. Anyway Kitty seems to know lots of people. JUN 6TH, 5:18PM Who is Tecate Don it is apparently Kitty's best friend ever. I never remember her ever talking about these people. 9:46PM How is your van doing? Did you find a mechanic? I will be at Mable's on Wednesday. I most likly won;t be . too many horriblr thinggs going on tht I don;t care to butdon you with.. BUT I may need your help getting materials from kitty's place to make handprints with again, if that's something you really want to do kitty doesn't wwant to talk to me but is willing to have you contact her about a good time to have me get materials from back yard. it's a big mess that I don't have the stomach nor nerve to begin from scratch again. I have vast resources still just sitting there . no point in getting any of them back unless I'm actually going to start making things with them again end long rant. sorry. been a very rough 3 days. nothing to do with you or your family. just other things I'm having to work out and through gnite. talk some other time. (^ texted. goodnight . sorry I ruined your life. at least you got a kid out of it I think we both need sleep. the 2 dreams tha got me sat bolt upright aftyer only having around 3 hours of sleep were: ! seeing a facebook thing you had posted ( in the dream mind you. not real, but my mind was confused) it said : hope today goes far better than yesterday" 2 other dream : mary on celphone, the message she left weeks ago ( that one was another dream,,caused by ian phone calling me to let me know he;d found the expensieve jacket he'd left in the break room at goodwill see? I text a LOT. you used to to. i miss them goodnight sorry this is when I actually do most of my writing. thanks for giving the ability for me to get back to work by giving me the laptop, the library hours were too constrictive. ok? enough already? I'm having to find new ( and far more lacluster) than you. thanks for ALL THE TYPINGand photography and documantation for so many years. sighs. I guess I'm going to have to look forward to beginning anew. again. this time without someone like you or letendre or lynn or bruce bickford or blablabla bla on and on , tsk, but the newer tales are, e=well, funnier, in a tragic way. a little less convoluted too. i can thank you for that. learned a lot from watching you try, then give up hope, over and over again. just like repunsell clubfoot end of story. have fun at work if you can back to conversations with martin. ttfn https://www.facebook.com/encyclopaediaofhell/photos/a.166159836770828/1901211859932275/?type=3 oh. dan bern says hello as well https://www.facebook.com/117045434983417/videos/1948686647975/ why did i actually think these things were sellable? damn am i a dumbass Play 0:00 Unmute (^quick shot of getting kity's hand sanded off while seeing how out of control my daughter will be with a camera in hand TransirearT guess that's it then. my life trueklly ended after fiddler on the roof because charley wasn'to theater, and not into camping . i wonder of thi whole crowd, who still talks to either of them: wonder why. 5:33AM sigh. that's all of the 3 hours of sleep i got. i understand mary all too well. and my mary too. bi polar? runs in the family and spreads like alcoholism i guess, and now i'm watching it spread to yet another generation, and i get the blame and yep i also have to quit faerieworlds, just like i had to quit oddmall, and ward, and thistle theater, and cafe racer and couth buzzard and a re use recycle community.. and rene and on it goes. nightmare after nightmare of being told my dreams weren't worth shit all the way back to trying to learn how to do mason work. yep back to anything i did including trying to keep fish alive as a way to cope with the loss of my mom, property, 68 robie, and yes the loss of the love and respect and care and time with you. it's all there. back to ralbert and kate. to me going down to l a for training to work for flat aerth. why did you rescue me from ella voekly in the first place? WHY?!!! you gave me a reason to escape. now i find myself trappedgoldfish888 all over again 22 years later geocities? ? crap kitty why did i rush back up here to try to work from seattle in the first place? because you forced me to fall in love with you. and i wanted the best of both worlds. i now understand i gave you all of me when all you wanted was a miner bump of a taste of me to distract you from working with juan and shovelling shit out of a sewer line for too low of s pay gig. jeazzze why did i blind myself to that and run back to los angelos and tell my mom not to give me an early inherritance so i could try to make things work in seattle?! shhift. WE sure made a mess of things. not me alone. and you KEPT getting help! me? i sacrificed it. and I'm the one who is selfish. you actually never kept writing and now the paranioic realization that all those tuesdays were little more than all those saterdays clubbing while juniper hung on desperrately waiting for you and resented me for not being YOUU. but i stayed. even after all that why? i guess because i'm sick that;s why. same reason i had a hard time leaving ella , same reason i had a hard time leaving george. btuce, etc. same reason i had a hard time leaving nebraska, leaving l a, leaving texas, leaving buffalo. i guess i'm sick with the want for acceptance and keep trying to hold on to the wrong pond/crowd. even helping alan move. take care of his 2 children. when mesba had wrenched al's wife's spine out of place when she tried to change his diapers while keeping an eye on her younger one. caregiver, i kept getting tossed caregiver duties, jist like derb. no shit. and then tossed to the curb when the hospice was over. and now you expect me to simply walk away? leaving all of me to get taken to another dumpster? i really thought you were different. you'd PROVED you were different. but now? sigh. same old shit. christ yer gonna turn me into ron tweedie. only thing saving me is my lack of testonerrone my girlyman ness. that resentfilled witch spirit who is raging through me like something straight out of into the woods and what the bleep do we know endjoy ypour secret life of biking and whatever else you really did with tuesdays while pretending to go to some girls house and never continuing the stories you wrote in that writing class about your daughter. i hope you get back to those, the tooth truth. etc, and me? i get the role of the narcoleptic narciscist. and garbage of life spirit hoarder, toxic love. straight out of fern gully. sigh and at one time wayyyy back when i was still at 7th lvl, i now realise i was being given the oppertunity to work on fern gully 2, but had to instead rush back to nebraska in order to escape ryk linn yvonne and tweedie. sand andras jones, dan bern, and the iguanna caffe and sam longoriea only to have them all finfd me out HERE! christ this all sux so hard all of MY writing. trapped in ded archives in a room no one goes into and manjia wanting to be petted ans slept with being FORCED to ABANDON people is NOT the role i like . yeah yw=eah sye=re ut's all about "me" not eWE and now yer mom is going to turn you into her. and pin will /is following the same path. use em up and spite em out your poor dad no wonder he became a hoarder. what choice did he have as everyone including his own wife and children abando ned his hopes and dreams? ( I was there. I saw. watched the dissolvement of the milkboat race annuals "YOUR" family. wholey crap. thanks a lot. and thank derb while yer at it mmmK? I'm trying to sleep. I guess i need to disconnect you from Facebook messenger. These messages make too much noise. I need sleep. Maybe you should go to sleep. i tried :sobs: ok ok ill tye all this crap somewhere else. mark is gonna get abandoned and kicked to the curb just like me and yer sister. thanks for introducing me to all the new stored wry tales, glad YOU get all the help you need . and sleep and love and care my bad. I'll go type to myself in a blogsot or something sorry to be so tethered worse thwn eon tweedie. i get it stopping. Chat Conversation End Type a message... CarParts.com - Discount Auto Body Parts Online, Cheap Aftermarket Parts Shop for discount auto parts at CarParts.com - the cheapest online source for all your aftermarket parts and accessories needs. carparts.com and none of that is made up, bentintine. all true to life. thanks for the vhs tapes back https://windupwinded.blogspot.com/2008_10_25_archive.html Chat Conversation End Type a message...

gibberish study

rALbERRt redo

(^ farther into and thru the rarebit warren: circa 1998 from a long lost loved one who I miss VERY much =====vvv=== RAlbert nov.19,1997 As Ralbert read through the kundalini list, answers to his long time ponerances took over. Ready he became as women described spontaneous orgasm and men described altered states of electric vibrations. It was all there before his eyes. The voices from the back doors of his mind popped forward. The bunnies with their long teeth smiled large from behind his eyes, the whiteness mades his iris crouch to the deep corners. His eyebrows grew higher. He reached to the keyboard to thrive off of what was out there, somewhere, someone understood his condition, his plight. What had possessed him all these years. The batteries which died in his pager from his own north-south pole misalignment within his magnetic sphere of mind and body. He began by introducing himself in the cut and chop form of speaking. The listeners became entranced and inspired by his "words of wisdom". The rage went on like this for weeks. Ralbert took time off to go out and weave the vines in the yard to put out some of the Kundalini Beast to motion. He walked up and down the driveway chanting in and out with each breath. He felt a cool calmness take his hand and lead him through the trees to a pile of wood chips and roots grown in them. The compost was a living pile of friends, intertwining together. Here he began to kick the leaves to uncover more of the beautiful soggy wood chips. He bent down and carefully untangled the roots from the clumps they had formed. He wove a rope and began weaving it through the twigs that he'd placed in the V of the tree. He carefully wove delicate roots, making a basket , and tied leaves to it . It looped round in the breeze. Ralbert sat on the thick branch he had dragged out of the bushes, and rolled a cigarette. He packed the ends carefully in a ritualistic manner. He sat back lit the cigarette and stared at the sculpture he had created, he saw a word forming. "shelter" Letter by letter it came, then a voice echoed. Back and forth in his mind loudly, nothing else, not even the traffic just twenty feet away, was audible. He stood up and the light changed. Another word came out. "for" This word was more gentle, less abrasive on the inside of his soft skull. He began to walk around the little vine, twig, leaf dictionary. He convinced himself he could find the next word. He stood up high in his will power and willed the next word, but it did not come. It would not come. He pretended to see things. shelter for the poor? shelter for all sake? shelter for days ends? Ralbert began to smile......... Shelter for the dark knight's first wind. shelter for neither here nor there. shelter for the heck of it. shelter for the fucking wretched limbo leechers and teased brief come byers. shelter for the sake of shelter. art for the sake of art., Fucking hell, cripes! dripps! not another fucking cliche! Ralbert felt a low self- imagination creeping in. He despised cliches. They made his genius mind ache for sympathy of something worth while. This magical place began to feel like earth once more, as the trees whispering cliches from the dry crunchy leaves. The cars on the road soon covered up the sound of the trees he could hear the whole freeway just blocks away scattering the black tires, warn low, thumping in synchronistic pace. He heard the radios in the cars tuned to different stations all playing commercials. Some changed from the consumer commercials to talk radio, which Ralbert considered commercial for the morals of the masses. Ralbert envisioned a woman arriving home getting out of the car walking through the door to her lovely distinguished home and looking in at her family in disgust. For she had whittled away at her perversions of a discontented life and became blind staring at the cinema of her mind's eye. Her briefcase dropped to the floor. The head of the chap lipped, son smiled at her. "Hi mom." Like the thump of a flat tired tromping over the landscape of her tyriadio brain. His cold sore grew bigger as she saw her son licking the inside lips of some teen sluts pubis. Then switching to one of his teachers. Back and forth back and forth. The two women kissed and one ran her hand over his curly greasy bangs. She heard a man's voice call in on the radio describing how he thought his wife was having an affair with one of her students. The mother grew warm in her nylons and her upper thighs began to itch. She kicked off her shoes and made her way to the couch crossing her legs and reached out her hand to pet her son on the head, but with the image of the two women fading from her mind she quickly pulled back from touching him and the hand lifted in the cinema of her vision. " hello dear " she said and smiled back at him as he sat in a ball arms wrapped around his shins. She looked over at her husband lying asleep beside her with one hand between his legs the other under his ear and the rest of his arm jetting out into the room. His glasses tucked under the edge of the pillow. She stared at the hand buried in his crotch. She imagined him washing the evidence of sneaking a quickie in the car as he drove the last of his car pool home. Once more she heard the radio talk show: A woman called in and said she was in love with a married man who had the picturesque family. But had just lost his job and was afraid to tell his wife. She was giving him money and they continued to make it seem as though he went to work every day. But instead he stayed at her house working on and internet porn page that would eventually bring in enough money. The woman had wanted him to continue this endeavor but they both lived in fear that the wife would find out because of the holidays coming up, and somehow she might hear it at a social event. The mother glanced at her husbands clothes and though he has been slacking off just a little on keeping his clothes perfect, as he did a few months ago, before his so called promotion. What if his promotion was a cover up and he was working on porn. That is the real reason she heard less and less about the old team at work. She looked at her daughter, all of four years old and smiled. She was relieved that she appeared to be his. She touched her daughter and left the room. ---vvv--- Ralbert finished his cigarette. Pushed the butt into the soil. Went into the house and flipped through the porn on the web. Thinking for a brief moment that may be he should start a porn sight. Lots of money in it. I bet I could come up with some nasties. get rich quick..... Shit another cliche. He logged off the internet for the evening and flopped down on his bed and stared at the pictures of the characters he drew. Carefully laid out to form a metamorphic mural of life. He reached over and turned on the radio. "Hello your on the air."... "Hi my name is Roda and well I want to say first.. that I love your show... I called in months ago.. and well my problems are solved... I left my family...but I have this strange new obsession for teenage boys.." Ralbert looked over at the clock radio and rolled his eyes. "Fucking cliche if you ask me." he said and chuckled to himself. As he began to imagine that the most preposterous things were going to become acceptable cliches. And the cliches of today becoming the sinful things which are looked down upon. Is it a sin to make money quick, or do art for the art sake? may be if you make money quick for art sake. or make money literally like in the mint for the sake of art. Is it an art making money? Usually it is not . making money for art sake. well I guess these days it is. Just depends if you're up on the scene of media, advertisement, propaganda coming out your ears is a form of art. Brainwashing takes talent. Being a single visioned one eye cyclops is a way to make art. Maybe I should be working in the stereo vision porn industry. Like people have to stare at it longer so it will come into 3D and then they can be charged for time. Then he felt sorry instantly as some man is whacking away, trying to go fast and trying to focus on this picture and make it stabilize into 3D....poor sucker... He laughs to himself as he imagines reading the headlines. "forty men have been stuck cross eyed over porn." and this big scandal comes out of men cross eyed while ejaculating getting stuck that way. He heard the toilet flush as his idea turned in on itself and swirled away. And these crossed eyed men with dollar signs in their eyes from the lawsuit against him........cha ching.... Forty men all lined up hands grabbing their cocks hunched over with crossed eyes and bright green dollar signs glowing like the alien kids in the movies. He imagined the next big trend will be lawsuits against the porn sites. Ruined marriages, upset wives, families torn apart by unsatisfied women. Men coming home with lingerie and sex toys. His vison switched from the porn industry to the lingerie and sex toys mail order sites Nope already got that stuff going our there no doubt. He imagined inventing a gel which somehow chemically activates with cum to make it disappear quickly. A two in one lubricant and cum deactivator. Like shampoo and conditioner for the mastribation male. He saw these forty men lined up hunched over. This time holding their shriveled up dicks with red blisters on them. With "lawsuit pending" stamped across their naked bellies. The dollar signs rolled like tears out of their eyes and ran down their bodies till their flesh was speckled with green $. Then their faces turned into one huge cyclops video camera and out of their ears came the talk radio calls coming from all over the place, discussing this major catastrophe in the porn industry. Meanwhile the US was engaged in some major scheme in the mid-east and getting in on the action in south africa. While the nation tuned into the forty deformed twits. It would all be Ralbert's fault for his get rich quick idea. Whole civilizations wiped out and the internet banned. No one could hear about the scandal. Tv and Radio filled with talk shows of couples making up, families getting back together . US population up? Fanatic Christianity, the reborn, a reinstated way of life. Pojama People going out in mobs rounding up drug addicts and converting them. The new law: Either the addicts convert and join the mobs , becoming narcs for the good of the world, or be locked up for life. Sexual preditors rounded up and sent off to fight in some underground war going on in other countries. While the government said they were in a new rehabilitation program. They are let loose all over to do as they pleased. People captured in herds, their dna taken to make clones, then destroyed. These clones raised from birth , trained to take over the US civilization population in fifteen years. and these kids could reproduce without the aids virus or the cancer or alzheimer's gene. ----- Ralbert stared at the ceiling, at the wood paneling and thought of the genetics of trees. He heard the wind howling outside and pictured his sculpture blowing away... The words shelter for came back Shelter for Shelter for. he repeated it to himself , trying to make a mantra. "Shelter for shelter for shelter for shelter for .." but he came up with nothing, except an eerie feeling . The vision of the new world compressed into a singular disturbing image and began to fade. Ralbert closed his eyes and whispered "shelter for" over and over until the words scattered into the sound of the wind. ((^ re edited spellchecked by TE3m circa 2018

past paste notes on mistic walkies

~wakemup/SCARletRlog

: okay..FOCUS...tapeWalk#1

K:there are some kids 

  running with a dog.

   Kids that run with dogs.
B: Um I just came back 
   from spending way too much time 
   playing video games 
   in Los Angeles.
K: And I just came back from  

   playing way too much time 

   in my house.

   B: Anxiety..

Does many things 

doesn't it?..
    .. tOuche`..

(^ what's the point? why b0ther USe andswEARing anyth1NKgwon?

(^ twONes apron a thyme, I belived in belief.

(^ knot sew  assured  any morel. (^>--TE3m
bureaucratic buccanailyuhhuh.testINKg 

(^ S0.

sew.

eWEs

t1LL

dew

kn0t

kn0WE

knot_hinge

⥵⥹

(^ this "amERRikan" lief

(^ and dEATh
stRUGgles

(^>--TE3mp0H

bRYE_thAUGHTs: (^ a test on living thru death and if change is worth the cost (^>--TE3m

bRYE_thAUGHTs: (^ a test on living thru death and if change is worth the cost (^>--TE3m

(^ a test on living thru death and if change is worth the cost (^>--TE3m

skulls i do not own.
I wish to test what I can get away with in here
so tHere ewe g0DE.


but kNOw:
 are .avi files playable?



(^ and with that,
I'll let it be.
(^>--TE3m

old yet still worth it song

https://youtu.be/ceQ758jrDGE

2014 was a very go0DD year



(^ and 2017 was pretty bad.
so bad that it may have tipped my scales
 back to writhing  utterantsays up in tHere again. sw00n

(^ 2014 going by too fast

(^ this is the most recent thing I was loosely connected to that I'm the most proud of: 

American Refugees: Super Dads

(^I've also been busy  cleaning up after and eating late night breakfast/midnight snacks with 

(^also:
(^  a while back, someone felt it might be interesting to see my
 (^ thAUGHT proscess1NKg meatspACEin the wH0le:
(^ so sew soe I let these two wander into parts of y int.err sank tumble:

Brian (^ Prosser's Nest





(^ this is older but has links off it too

(^ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hpKBnvVIttM&index=3&list=LLNanfXJ2FPLihfzXatE2q6A

oldoldold bit

>(^ written wordscan overlap (no..that was NOT a typo!) 

>(^ 

>(^ NEVER try to PASS w/out digesting at least NINE times.(it'll leave you in stitches...)

>(^ 

>(^ even trunkaided overt glanceovers would give you more..(ambiguity=true key to enlightenment..not attainment)

>(^ 

>(^ 

>(^                          z                A              B                  C              D                E             F             G           H          I

>(^                      (zone)          (U)           (PAir)          (Unit)      (PAr end)  (uNITE)   (paRENT)  (unites) (parALLel) (united)

>(^ 

>(^ value                IT           single        couple          few         some       group      family            tribe  extended    commune

>(^ structure       0=blank   1=noun  2=verb  3=sentence  4=phrase  5=query 6=hypothesis 7=datalog 8=alter 9=results

>(^ trig function  0=point     1=ray      2=line     3=shape  4=space 5=wireframe 6=wrap   7=generate  8=backup 9=save

>(^ camera        0=ref       1=pov     2=direction  3=focus     4=speed     5=path     6=trialrun  7=batch  8=set       9=run

>(^ perception   0=exist    1=aware 2=action     3=creation 4=substance 5=assess 6=judge   7=attrib 8=altar 9=sacrifice 

>(^ image          0=object  1=sprite   2=tool        3=make       4=anchor    5=move   6=use      7=attach 8=toon   9=next

>(^ color         0=clear      1=white    2=black      3=shade      4=hue         5=tone   6=palette 7=switch 8=blend 9=detach

>(^ texture      0=nil          1=smooth  2=checker  3=facet       4=map      5=stratify   6=plugin  7=apply 8=show  9=delete

>(^ sound      0=Tone        1=Note    2=Beat      3=Chord  4=Rythm   5=Melody  6=Harmony 7=Vocal 8=Tune 9=scratch

>(^ noise      0=all(static)  1=Mono    2=Dual       3=Trio        4=Quarrel   5=Quinine 6=Sextiply 7=Sept  8=Oct   9=Nova 

>(^     

>(^                 TIME             VIEW        TAKE          GIVE           KEep        BAlance       HAve    TRade  REdirect CHange

>(^ ====================================================================================

>(^ ..and yet..below was my true start point.

>(^ 

>(^                    PHILOSOPHICAL MATH? or MATHEMATICAL PHILOSOPHY?

>(^ inre:

>(^ !!!>(^ "shit",you have a lot to say it was damn near impossible to #digest# on first  "pass".<!!!

>(^ 

>(^   NEVER try to PASS w/out digesting at least NINE times...espessially if you haven't eaten in days.

>(^ 

>(^    ETHOtainment =ethics quest on enjoying rush of  ally creation vs hype for destroying enemies.                               

>(^ 

>(^ "Zero reads" is turning off before making ANYthing out of it. period. nothing.ziltcho.na da.

>(^ .no object ions. no lights.no camera.no speed.no sound. no take. no focus. no no.nonone.  

>(^  . =spot or - or_ linier thickness thought mark stabwound. thumbs down.just here. not there(yet)

>(^ 

>(^                                                          CREATION

>(^ 

>(^ "One digestive track" is barely a commercial. BUYorMEorSELLorLOT...but no connection..       THIS

>(^ 1=  pointer taken..a ray of hope. but only goes from here to....WHERE? ( WON =  " IT"  #nounORverb )

>(^ 

>(^                                                        RECREATION

>(^ 

>(^ "Two" comes close to "books" in readers digest format. great  for words like "PERfect"and "perFECT"

>(^ + =and or small x ... (crossroads..  crosshairs.. TOand/orTOO = " SUBJECT "  #verbANDnoun )        

>(^   (no gray levels..On/Off. but no switch makery "TAG" " IT"  .subJECT to this SUBject ) CHOOSE

>(^                                                                                                                                       ( THIS or THAT )

>(^                                          RECREATION(AL)RECREATION

>(^ 

>(^ "Three passes" will come close to military comprehends ion.WhiteBlackGray PlanAttackOutcome.

>(^        (I'm a gonnah tell, I tell, This is what I told.)distortion starts with tthe perception of   CHOICE(S).

>(^ y =/ depth charged perception\\.TREE TRI TRY(lateral .com).true SenTenseNess (This,That,theOtherthing )

>(^      \\ funnel to width a/\\o spray./ To From Re: branch structures...shades all gray. QUEST ions.

>(^                      /yes no maybe\\

>(^ z= also 3..(all odds but one)     \\ devining rod /  (*futuRE:*NOW*Past) DREAMSTATE

>(^ noteY=devine questioning..Z=motive answering(z=wild card=...link "uf"(NowPa(st*uf*f)utuRE:*)

>(^ 

>(^                                       RE:CREATION  ALT.  RECREATION

>(^ 

>(^ 

>(^ Four takes time, but may obtain first gyst. .good doc thing, too (EyeEarNoseThroat)

>(^ X= foil (FirstOuterInnerLast) TRUEspot..LOCALity. multiply instead of plus.

>(^ 

>(^ Five may cover the most we sternest deviancies' known seances. 

>(^ 

>(^ ....that's enuff.   GREP?   me niether.

>(^ my mind flashes all that kind of stuff when I'm just minding my own bussiness.

>(^ ...I stay awake nites trying to avoid devine insparation spurting at me from dreamstasis...

>(^ I can't type as fast as who/what/why ever this is wants me to.

>(^ ..sometimes feel like Mozart working on Requiem Mass.

>(^  

>(^ >(^  I caught most of the drift and the VRML.

>(^ 

>(^ ..I wish I did. I'm just making this stuff up. All based on sleep depravation and POWERBARS !!! YUM !

>(^ (O.K, coffee nicotine and chocolate, too) 

>(^ What IZ scary...is I'm starting to see sequential links in Kline bottle mode.

>(^  Mobius strips' not wide enough

>(^ and Hypercubes may be fine for a room, but not a jinn bottle.

>(^  

(^ most recent thINgK I dung..

(^ update on stuff I dung

tHere

windows-7-just-wants-to-hold-macs-hand




http://www.microsoft.com/showcase/en/us/details/66035bef-a1d3-4b48-a5b5-d3fbbc28c723

needs silverlight. or simply download wmv

(^ yep. another one worth watchin

THIS

(^ wake up. not even Vinton does it in clay

radio free exile: sometimes you stop...

radio free exile: sometimes you stop...

(^ something to mouse over

space test

person I"ve been hanging out with la8ly

Ryan Henry Ward from Scotty Mac on Vimeo.