bRYE_thAUGHTs: December 2008

(^ ok. this here's a test of a text dump from long long ago.
(^ put out here mostly to study and reality check on things I said while living on a nebraskan farm after running away from L.A=
=========don't bother reading this post.===============
(^ this relates to communication systems in general and music theory:
(^ prosody:
(^ the way different people and cultures recognize and develop attachments
(^ to different responses to outside input.

transl8,please?!

(^as of 2/08/97: I am starting to go over this agaIN..
much of this was transcribed from a cassette tape labeled
" Diggedy Jinn Talks "((side a))
or "Jiggedy Dinn Spokered" ((side b))
(^I'll refer to these as "DJt" or "DJs"
both were recorded in Dec of 1994.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
wed. 8:10.
ok, finers.
use and/or give this bitmap to anyone who wants to hurt their eyes.
(it tiles VERY well on desktops).
this image was originally created
as an illustration for the below poem...

(yes... know..

I am aware that it doesn't translate to ascii very well,

but what can eWe do?)

SOE.
vVVvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvVVv
NOW's the time: vVV
the time' (S)now.

(: form simplification /symbolization
of and for (t)old truths:)
.to make a piece with the passed - tense add age.

SNOW:
that "hissss" you hear and see
is the screech of
over organization.
all combining awe combine:
the knowing of no gaps.
white noise: (once called static)
is never still.
" noise " does not exist in stasis:
" white " is alive with color:
whitenoise's sight/sound is
so v a s t ;
so loud;
so hued;
ingesting so
much so f a s t
can so choke.

So few can take it in all at once.
SOme can't intake it
once at all!
it takes your breadth:
and yet it has all/no width;

There is just too much

w H I T e
.............N o I S e.................

\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\//////////////////////
..Ayend,.. (^ DJt.. near end.. then flipped to DJs ^)

"DIGGIDDY JINN TALKS into SPEAKS"

(mumbling.....) all: right?

I am a juggler
NOT a justice woman .

What I mean by this
is that,
or the other thing.

I balance three thinGks
@ once,
knot 2.

My balance
has
a
s e e / s a w
effective affectation.

Whenever I am "truly" balanced,
My hands (and thAughts)
are consistantly, constantly moving.

In the midst of weighing issues,
I sometimes find myself
having to choose whether
to ju(d)ggle or (K)no(W).

It's been said,
(well, not recently, but in my past)

"Hey, he's pretty good at balancing ...
Let HIM figure it! "
....and then I'm given things to hold on to.

................so?

I start juggling.

Then the ranting occurs.

"no, no, NO ! Don't TOSS those!
'Just figure out how much they wwEIGHhh !! "

...................well, that's not how I balance.............

you (k)NO(w),
if asked, "Oh, my! What time is it ?"
I tend to reply,
"It's time to EAT ! 'tis time to SLEEP ! Be MARRIED! "
I wont say,
"It's six thirty point forty five seconds and counting..."

knowing that I juggle thoughts
puts me in an awkward position
when in the company of small minds.

I have to keep putting down the clubs and balls;

ewe know,
juggling in a small space is hazardous to those around USE.
ewe've gotta give me some roaminig room..
or yah might get hurt..
...so...
I pack up my ballbearings
and go homespun...
Away.
Out.

I'm not always in a position where juggler' s stances are appreciated.

However..
When I'm in the company of those whose minds' dance,
my moves get watched.....
out of necessity .

(k)NOW...
Just because I put my balls away
doesn't mean that I know how to measure in or with scales.
I don't ! ....or at least .... I refuse to remember how...

This is where people get confused with and by me.
they say ,
"HEY ! Measuring by the scales does NOT
'seem to be beyond your aBILities!"
and I reply,
"no, it's a different format than my abilities allow...
'when I start thinking in that way it hampers my ability..
to juggle..."
.......does this make any sense?
to you?
......it would if your mind was dancing..:>)

DELINIER NOTES on LINE STASIS

to think linearly:
to think in terms of balance meaning stasis
instead of balance meaning movement
hinders my ability to juggle in the future.
I therefore may seem irate when I hear people saying
"HEY ! stop!.slow down! Let ME show you what I mean."
....what they are trying to show me?
how to balance like everyone else does.
With two feet firmly planted on the floor.
If I do that consistantly,
I will forget how to balance on one toe.
So, please don't be offended
when I tend to be a little beligerant in saying
"No, that's ok ...You can stand that way,
but my standing on two feet would be
....quite....
odd...."

CORPSE STREAM NOTE: Jig's trade secret

The stance of the jiggity jinn's is always odd.
if moving on one, three, five, etc..
you can access the jinn. as long as things are not even .

As soon as everything is in balance: (2,4,6,8,10 ),
he won't show up.
The Jinn's soul reason for becoming is to balance every thing out.
Therfore, as long as you're in the even land, he has no existant purpose.
.he's the odd man out, you see... ok ?
Jigg's that final vote to bring things "now we're even, steven"
and after that, he'll leave you clueless.

================================================================
CORPSE STREAM NOTE: ((^DJs" ^))Jig's grade secretary:

pulp section.. (see *.. pulp1.txt + ? )

NURSERY RYTHMS.

nursery: a place where baby animals, humans, or plants are cared for.

so...

.. going to nursery school does not secondarily mean you are a child,
it could be you are taking classes in order to care for the young
......possibly..? ...good.
so.
In this game, "nursery school" is something that adults must go to
in order to be allowed to raise anything.
..Why?
Because adults tend to forget how to care for their young,
There, their young take care of them!
and yet, they have no idea .It never would occur to them .
Adults forget to tend that much...

BananaJump from Jan Tappé on Vimeo.

****************wednesday 8:40p(nope)
((^reworking awl this data.. 2day=1/19/97.. and it's 12 high nooners. ^))

Handset and Graphall are into the paper pulp...
((^they are pulp fiction writers....^))

I've got most of the beginning documented in script form; already typed.
see the "pulp1.txt" under file "e:>thinks/tales/1pulp/pulp1.txt "

The nursery is where the children are taking the seeds of the trees
that their parents are ripping down to create trails through this forest,
looking for the gingerbread home in which they actually live in.

The adults can't remember where they live.
They think they live to work.
They should be working to breed....
Looking for thier past... in the future, is what the parents are doing.

They're looking for how to give children what parents never got to have.
Trying to pass down dreams to their kids
dreams of missed opportunities
from the adults' own childhood past.

Adults don't realize
that the children they have,
have different dreams than they.

Not all children want to go to college to become doctors or lawyers
like their parents wanted to and weren't able to succeed at.

Yuppyism is a dead language. It's a bad art now.

You dont want to move TO America when you live IN America.
You can't want to escape FROM "the bad life" while you're IN "the good life".

...does that make since ?

Adults are trying to escape FROM the BETTER life TO the BEST life.
The problem is..
The best life is the life you are IN.
And..
You can altar your suroundings, but you can't change them.
However,
You can change your view.
..so.
The nursery is
where children and small plants and animals hangout.
The nursery school is
where parenting is taught.
..because..:>)
in this game,
the nursery happens to be where one of the jinns hangs out.
in this nursery, the nursery rymes are most important.
Jig looks like a small child
but he's actually manipulating the children
into not hurting each other.
and teaching how to make things grow..

*****************************************************************
((^ " DJt "..back to begin of first side)=================================

working stiff.....
well good moUrning

today is the 22nd of december 1994
and brian is riding across the country in a car.
and I was just trying to search
through a double bummer bongwater tape
for a particular song and have given up.

but while doing so I came across a line ..
and that line is....

"ToMORrow I'll find it ! " the trumpeter screams;
then remembers he's hungry ...
then drowns in his dreams' ...

Well, I've been soaking up the rays of "wake up sleeping" ((^another cassette^))
while driving across the country
and trying to remember a dream
that doesn't quite come easily..uh

so in the meantime let me describe
Jiggiddy Jinn which is a ....

no I think I'd rather do Repunzle Club Foot
since I just saw a good image for it.....
but I feel like I've lost it.....I..I'm not there yet.

what shall we talk about..what should we talk about.

womban: < what shall we talk about
bRYEn: >(^ ya.
womban: < when you **jumped on you said
you were dreaming
and the guys you talked to yesterday or the day before
talked the last few hours.... we had to run in and get coffee
bRYEn: >(^ arrr.arr.arr aright..
womban: < no it sounds interesting I can wait or something

bRYE: >(^ ya,poor baby....alright let me see something here.
one way of accessing the jiggiddy jinn story
or the story of the fire effritti trap..
the fire-effritti pig tapped in his own .
on the inside of an oil lamp.

there is a straw house.
this oil lamp is in the treasure trove room of the **mcClurbin dragon .
how do you get into the oil lamp to blow out the candle
that this pig sitting in swammy clothes si sitting in front of.
with his eyes saucer like, huge big round, like
...have your ever seen white labradory.. lab pig.. I mean not pig ..
a mouse a white albino mouse with red eyes.
this is what you see except

it's a pig wearing a turban
sitting in front of this very large candle
that looks more like a roman candle
like a firework ..sitting in front of him...
he's sitting cross-legged
holding the outer edges of this roman candle
with his feet...
he's got his hands behind him and he's sort of in this 'Lotus" yoga position.
and he's got.what is it called...
the bottom of the arch of his feet holding this roman candle.

The roman candle is about 4 1/2 or 5 inches in diameter .
it's supposed to sky rocket into outer space,right. ?
and then blow up. it's a sort of firework.
at least that's what I've got in my head
even if "roman candle" isnt what I'm looking for.

it sounds right..and even if it isnt, well.

So ...
what I'm thinking of is the candle
to describe this candle that he's holding onto
is about 4 1/2 or 5 in.,in diameter.
basketball diameter is too wide
baseball is too small.
it's about the thickness of a normal football,
just a little too large to put your hand around
you know it'd take two hands to put it around
they'd almost touch but not quite.

(mummbling from others in the car)

ummmm volley ball is too big
soccerball is too big.
but it's the diameter fo a football
where you're about two inches from putting your hand all the way around it.
it is about 4 foot tall, maybe only three foot.
(depending on how much game you've played)
but above this yard of a candle made of wax,
spiraled psychodelic colored wax,
it looks like it's been dipped in opal.
it has an oil slick color
or
the color of a soap bubble candle.

A soap bubble candle,

that's what we're looking at,
yes sirry bob.

the whole candle.
oh my,
oh thankyou.
good moUrning
you guys are here now.
yea you guys woke up at that one.

the fire effritti pig lives in an oil lamp
very much like your typical alladin shape,
however
it's clear and crystal glass like sleeping beauty's slipper
--whoops! sleeping beauty's slipper?
well yes.-- huh

sleeping beauty's casket and also cinderella's slipper. yes.

and what you see when you come in
when you see this lying on the ground
is this illuminated flashlight or something off in the corner
that's sort of grayish,
if you pick up this sort of
glass slipper of an oil lamp
you will see smoke and fire
and it's shimmering the colors ..
it's a prism..---
this oil lamp is designed as a prism...

I'm getting thrown off because talking to the machine
while my mother sits and nods yea I got it go on
it's very funny I'm yea yea you got it alright

so there's this prism like smoke filled oil lamp
the way you enter it is
that you have to pick up the magic beans
that are sitting close to the lamp
that's sitting next to an expresso machine.
in this treasure trove.

because you have to get really small to climb in there

or you can just take the lamp with you.

but the way that you..
once you know how to get to
if you end up with him as this tool
if you end up carrying around this lamp with this fire effritti in it

you dont if you rub the lamp
you'll just make it really nice and shiny
what you have to do is
eat chocolate covered coffee beans
to get into you have to do some sort of hallucnigen,
in essence,
you have to eat something
you have partake of something
you have drink,
be,
thinGk,
you have to go over to alice in wonderlands little thing
and find all those nice little cookies that say eat me.
you have to do something that
allows you to shrink to the point where you get in.
you have to do something that seems almost suicidal in nature.
um definately not protective.
sometimes if you make the kind of moves that
put yourself in a sacrificing position in life
or in this game.
you will find if you have that thing with you,
eWE'll will find it's like your let one last request
it's like your last rights
but
you because you were a good boy,
your a bad survivor.

(muskrats...)

image of woven head watcher write right rite

muskrats?!(^ yes.knOWE:

what do they have to do with good providers or bad boys...
those are beaver huts I presume.. muskrat huts
what are muskrats, small beavers?
no
they're a different specious

yea.
most of the time, blah balahlksahdnaweg

no, the deal with soap bubble:
this one last wish.
your last rights.

the ashes to ashes dust to dust senario...

is that if you are caught between a rock and a hard place
and you decide to lie down on the hard place
and put the rock on your stomach.
and take both,
dont settle for half,

take both you will find yourself with jiggiddy jinn.

if you find yourself between two people who are fighting
and they're screaming "take a side!!"....DON'T.
and you also refuse, more importantly.. to walk away.

if you take a side you are a butcher,
if you walk away you are a baker and your just going to hang out
until everybody's finished with the fray,/foray..

-but -
if you stay between the two and say
"in either case I'm going to die because I wont move"
much like ghandi with his
"I would rather starve to death in a world of war
' than I would live with my friends killing each other."

if you find yourself doing such a thing
you will again access jiggity jinn.

The fire-effritti's purpose in life
is to try desperately to make a better world
or die in the attempt to do so.

and he's not satisfied with a win lose situation.
it is always either a win-win or a lose-lose.

he doesn't like lose -loses.
what he tends to do is say
"it is either a win-win situation ,
or I will **aquies,
and help you win by my dying. ..
and sacrifice my life for the betterment of man,
human,toad,and grass kind..."

he'd most likly say it almost like that.
very non-sensical man.
he makes short little silly statements like

"in a kill or be killed world, give me plan B'

and he'll hold up his thumb, instead of you know ,
he may count with his fingers...
kill(1) or be killed(2) world and he holds up a peace sign.
then he says give me plan B and holds up a thumb
and looking into the camera he'll like he's pushing the big red button
so he'll swing his finger up ..

"In a
kill.(1)(^gun kapow mime)
or be killed (2,)(^ peace) world, give me plan
( then he swings his down his thumb to press the button) B'

" there's no reason to survive and have the comic death of blood on your hands.
he refuses to play pilot.
" this aint no pilot thang." he says
"hey that lokies like a really cool thing. jesus!
I'm going to give you this wreath we're going to plan the play prince/pauper.

if history were being replayed with the jinn as pilot (paunchous lil' bugger)

jinn would of switched places with jesus and said ..

pawncheese PILOT: > "ok now ...what would you do in this situation, jesus?
you are now pilot, I'm you.
that has become my position.
I dont see any difference between me and you
except I'm in the place of power
so ....
I relinquish my power to you.
here's my robe,
here's my little oil/lawrally wreath
and now you get to decide wether or not to crucify me.
or to set me free or what. ..EHver!...."

and he would have done it, too.

you know,
that's the kind of bizarre motions this guy will do.
he wont make sence to anyone.
he shouldn't make sence to most people because he's,....he's.. (^sigh)

he's actually telling you how to win.

fire-effrit is in essence god incarnate
but he's a very disgruntled god incarnate.

he's a very wise old sage that refuses to make much sense anymore.
and he also refuses to be human.
he refuses to be what he knows so well how to do.

so
you know it now....
and you say ....'how do you live ?'
'I dont know'
or you come up..

and ask "HOW do eWe live?"
he says 'by dying'

if you asked him 'WHY do u live?'
he says "to help you to figure out how'"

so when talking with this creature that lives inside this bubble of a lantern
who's holding in his feet a four foot long by 4.5 inch diameter roman candle,
I know what it is..
it's one of those mailing tubes with six inches sparking arching.
what it is is he's got a roman candle turned backwards
it's like a rocket
that instead of flying up into outer space
and going off and lighting up the sky
he's got it pointed it directly at the earth
and he's lit the thing.

it's like...
he's holding up this bomb in front of his face,
watching the fuse spark.
and he's very amazed ,
he's waiting for what will happen next.
at first I thought he was sitting in a straw house
lighting candles and watching the house burn down around him

but I like the idea that instead//
it's this very large fire rocket but he has it backwards,
he's got it pointed at the ground
you light the thing and it just a try to push the earth out of it's way
so that it can fly into the sky
so that it can explode.

in some ways
I imagine a small child trying to push by the adult
and the adult had the palm of his hand on the forehead of the child
and he's holding the kid at bay
and the child is trying to push
and swinging wildly with his arms
trying to get past this large man in his way.

have you ever seen this phnomenon where you got ..

in essence that's what this man is doing.
this fire-effritti pig
and what you gotta do is
figure out how to put out the candle.
before he'll even bother talking to you
because
if you try to put out the candle
you're taking a chance on blowing up yourself
in order to save some strange pig that you dont have any idea about

but he's ...

.it's like juggling with knives and torches and somebody would come along and say

" look out ! you're gonna hurt yourself! "
and push him out of the way
and get stabbed to death by all of the juggling knives coming down.

and jinn'd think:.. " hey that's a pretty good trip! ,
thanks for your concern.
if people showed more concern like that
there'd be a lot less of the bloody mess than there is tHere."
.
*********************thurs 7:23pm

********************friday 5:29pm
and then you would find yourself fine and dandy
and then you would just look around and find out
all these daggers that you thought you had jumped into the middle of
were actually sword fish
so you smell funny
but it was just an illusion.

every thing about this man is an illusion.

nothing is real
but he always looks... like-
-he's like a circus geek who's putting nails to his feet
or doing a lot of grotesque, horific comedy-

he's making fun of how frightened people are of death.
when it's such an easy thing to get over..

it's funny,
it doesn't last that long
you find yourself here again all the time .
it's not like we can stop it.
the point being
if you sacrifice yourself ,
you die
you reincarnate
as an other character

****************fri 5:39pm

**************sun 2:55am
and there is a file called "father time grown old."((^*.ftgm)

grandfather time grown old.
in which there is a beacon.
most likely very much like the oil lamp,
same color of saturation,
which is lots of slear a little bit of white,
opal colored or oil slick,
or soap bubble.

you know each of those images,

try to super-impose those all into one object.
greasy, beautiful, yet toxic.
or
a fragile soap that could clense you
if there were more of it but there isnt .

it's just one bubble worth.

a bubble bobble , that is on the point of turning black and white,
breaking into little square patterns,
and bursting.
watch a soap bubble someday,
you'll see that's exactly what it does-

starts off with oil slick color
falls into a gray light pattern,
then explodes.

this oil lamp is one of the tools
that is a mixture of
the sands of time of father time
and the illuminating lantern fo the good sheppard
bringing his flock home at the end of the day.

when father time grows old
and becomes doctor death
] this rainbow colored figure-eight **luminsate shape of a lantern
becomes...
the top end becomes dust.
(I'm trying to think what color dust would be the best)
like soot but it's not soot. ok you have brown sand that
( I'm trying to think of the right color to explain)
human skin dust. it's this off sandy-gray brown but it has....(
that's it I've got it, I've definately got it now.)

you play the game.
depending on wether you take constuctive or destructive actions.
the color the sands of your life shall be saturated..
-color saturated a little different.

ashes to ashes, dust to dust is a statement that is not said
but is implied by the colors of this limnisat when you die
and then are reborn into this nest of next character(s).

you get to see this lantern
that's been turned on it's side
like a lunch box
and on the left side are ashes
and on the right side is dust.
and the color of the dust will kind of give you a clue
of wether your going to get to play
the bad guy,
the good guy,
or the indifferent guy,
with the next game your about to play.

and what moves you make in the next game
will alter whether you are
a butcher,
a baker ,
or a candlestick maker.

you can play the same games over and over again
but you have to know how to do it.
otherwise it's a random pattern.
if you figure out..
(oh,put it this way)

if you know how to move around in a house and somebody says
" go to the bedroom." most of the time,
(unless you're in a very small house),
you turn to them and say "which one!?'

but if you've never been in the house and somebody says
" go to the bedroom.!"

you say ok,cool and you run around rampantly
until you find a room that happens to have a bed in it
and say 'ok I'm there now'.

you understand?

so, there are ways to finding your way
thru the worlds of Lillith dread Hennah,
Lilly Red riding herd, Bo Peeper's lost,
and jiggiddy jinn, and The McClurbin dragon,
and the handset and graffits.

there are ways to get into each of their houses,
but to know how,
you have to either have experienced them
or you you have to have a cheat book.

jiggiddy jinn ids the cheat book.

he is the one that actually has all the answers of the game.
he's not going to play the game.
it's much like asking God,
how does a man live.
god can tell you
and you say
well why aren't you doing it?
and he'd say
'been there done that'
or
'why should I ?, I'm god! '.
(just because I may know how
to be a first grader
doesn't mean I want
to have to do it again.)

or somebody who's lived thru a holocaust
may know how to live in a bomb shelter,
that doesn't necessarily mean they want the next button pressed.

just because you have skills does not condem you to use them.

how's that for ya. ?!

so...
even though I've eaten meat,
even though I know how to strip a goose,
even though I know how to flock some sheep,
doesn't mean I must,
it merely means I have.

and maybe that's part of the game
of why that god can forgive
or whatever.

it's saying that
the real trial is not to avoid evil at all costs.
it's to have lived thru evil and then choose not to.

those are the ones that have redeeming qualities.
those are the people that can enter the kingdom of heaven.

otherwise you have to wait until you screw up at least once.

because if somebody is rich then they can be very charitable,
it doesn't take much. it's no skin off their nose, or their back.
the challange is to be charitable when to do so would do you harm.

you have to make sacrifices,
this is not the same as being charitable
when the charity causes you no damage.

so it's finding situations that inable you to help out
no matter what's going on.
but the wild card is to help out when it will cause you to die
and still you help out..
this will give you extra time and access to extra levels of the game.

this is confusing....
because my mom is sitting here
nodding that she understands..(hheee hee) so ..

womban: < I thought I was supposed to listen.
bRYE: >(^ well of course your supposed to listen,
but I need to get others peoples input.
I was laughing because I wasnt sure....
I'm making a lot of facial ticks and movements
I'm using my hands a lot while I describe things.
I will not have those available to me when I listen to this cassette later.
I'm trying to describe things in a formatte that without hand jestures
one will still get the essence or feeling across.

of this candle.
I almost want to make people put in dots.
dot dot dot for every second that goes by with a pause
.....
like that's five dots
...
and that's three.
and between.and then writing with force.
large words,
small words
crecendo words
which would be in small font
very smmmalllll at the beginning
and then it gets larrrgggger at the end of the word

. writing *phoenetically,
((^Finnigan's wakelike^))
saying phoenetically speaking.
.... dramatically speaking,...of course.
I like that line better.

so you'd have this chartacter of the fire-effrit
shows up all over the game in different guises,
what normally will give away that it's likely to be the little clue monster
is something subtle,
like he's got some rainbow-colored aspect about him
. or he's got a plus-minus on his belt.
or he's ..standing in a puddle of oil slick.
they'll always be some sort of minor clue....
or it might be the person who's committed suicide in the corner
...laughing while he does so.
if you've ever seen Harold and Maude,
harold was doing the same thing.
he was coping with the exsistance of living in a strange world
by constantly pretending to commit suicide...drove his mother crazy.
..
(k)NOW.. if you talk to this crazy person,

the juggler, the jester, the harliquinn romance novelist in the corner...
or maybe it's the harliquinn romance nobel prize winner in the corner..
.that'd be a little closer. ......
will show up when you find yourself stuck in the game,
like if you've been playing the same senario for too long,
you've walked around .......
you're supposed to walk around the building three times and then enter...
well you've walked around 85 times,
ok you're stuck,.......
well at some point during you're stuck...
the fire-effritti will come along in one guise or another
...he may even be the scarecrow hung up on a pole on the edge of the forest
**Ovall where there's a branch......
and you keep walking to the left or to the right.
and then you come across the same fork in the road
but there's now a scarecrow there
and ..if you dont get the clue there.,.........
the point is you have to turn around.
the only way you get anywhere in the forrest Ovall
is to walk around randomly and then retrace your steps.
if you never retrace your steps
you never get anywhere.

because ..
home is where the heart is
and this game is set up as a globe.
..it;'s an in-out not forward-backward motion...

so what you do is you leave home
and when you come back, time has passed,
so now you're in a different home....
ok you're not moving to home1
to home2
you're moving to home1 to home again.
and so home 1,2,3,4,10,86,24,...
are merely differences in time.
and things change constantly right behind your back
and all you have to do is turn around..

most people move forward without ever taking a few steps back
like a bunny hop.
have you ever done that ?
..the bunny hop?...(singing..da de da dadunna...da de da dedunna..)
...one step back , two steps back, three steps forward.. .
well if you're playing this game with someone else who's not playing it...
you try to go backwards, backwards,
and you find yourself 1 1/2 steps back bumping
into something.that wasn't there a second ago.
cause their moving forward and you moved back and
oooooh! contact, ta da!.
.good morning, who are you....?

oh I'm the guy who's fallowing you!

huh, well you want to go in front of me,
cause I like backing up now and then..

well I'm ploding along forward
and I think going backward is kinda ridiculous
and it's counter-productive.

well all right then, you just go ahead of me... here.
and I'll just(singing) kicking to the left, kicking to the right ,
back up back up, forward, forward, forward....

you gotta play the game that way.
it's just the way it is.

why?
because..
you're reaching to the left,
you're reaching to the right
and you find yourself
hugging the people to either side of you...
then you're backing up
into whatever cute cuddly large breasted women is back there, also...
and THEN you're moving forward..
and now you have three friends with you!!

**********sun 4:29am

**********sun 5:55am
but if you plod along forward ..

just plod and over and over
just plod and plod.
gotta move into the future.
gotta keep going....
you never take the time
to slow down and
hug your kids.

you never take the time to slow down and
notice the family.
there's nothing familar about the future
only about the past and the present...
so...
you have to look to your left,
look to your right ,
back up a touch,
then move forward...
gather your interests to you and then go

...dont just run hells bells through the forest.
what are you nuts?!
whats going to happen when you trip over that log.?
....when (yes, I see the.the..)

here's a good example:

when traveling down hill ..
on skis,
one must not go forever forward.
..one must hedge back and forth.
.left,right,left,right..dont try to go down..
you're going to go down wether you like it or not..

so
if you dont want to break your neck,
dont go rushing pell mell forward,
go to the left
go to the right,
the forward will take care of itself.

snow plowing breaks your knee caps!

you cant slow down forward.
go to the left, go to the right, go to the left, go to the right
ta da di da ... (ballet song)
and you just keep going forward.
with or without your permission, forward
(um, there's a line by Laurie Anderson...
the future..you are forever falling forward..
.you, um, timelines forever pulling you forward into the future.
there's a line by Patti Smith
'the present, it's just moving too fast' oops! it's gone.,it's gone.)

......so
sometimes to bides one time is the best way to move forward.
you cant become a corproate mogol with three weeks of college.
you gonna have to sit still for a couple of years
to become a teacher...
...you gotta sleep so much,
ya know,
the quicker,faster you move;
the more you spin your wheels.....
slow down to speed up...

.these are some of the kinds of things the jiggiddy jinn would say
to someone who's running hell mell thru the forest
and doing nothing
but finding themselves doing nothing
but making more and more trails and never getting anywhere.......(break)

womban:(mumbling) < hopefully in some small way
making other people happy...
though I know I could never do a perfect job of it.
If I happen to have a few happy times along the way...
that's nice..........

((^.........ah. the idea of putting up big walls and sitting back
in the corner for fear of....

bRYEr >(^ the infringing?
womban: < infringing..... or getting hurt ...

bRYEr: >(^ it's not necessarily about getting hurt, janet,
it's about keeping from harming other people..
it's keeping harm out of their way...

janet: < I was permitted to share some thoughts..and now I dont understand

bRYEr Patch: >(^ I'm trying to clarify my motives

janet: you cut me off when I was just getting ready to say that---

:).............fearing,fearing , you know trying to be sensitive
or trying not to overwhelm other people.
infringe on or ....
push for more than they're ready for at the moment
doesn't necessarily mean ,
you know,
putting up big walls
cause well
that seems kind of harsh.
I guess what I'm striving for is
to be ready and open and available.
but also trying to be sensitive to
what other people are in the mood for

or are ready for,
or have time for,
or whatever.
this
instrument.....

bri: alright, I am a juggler (etc. return to begin.)
*************sun 6:29 am

total time: 5 hours 17 minutes
d I'll just(singing) kicking to the left, kicking to the right ,
back up back up.....

buh dum pum pumb!